Commitment, Transitions, and Satisfaction

The grass is always greener.

Maybe. 

Maybe it's just a different shade. Or it could be the same, just better lighting. 

I used to think I was a little bit of a commit-a-phobe who always thought the grass was greener, but really, I think I just enjoy change and trying new things. A week from today my whole rhythm of life will change and be a new thing. 

Some might think I'm leaving the camp world in search of something that will make me happier. And maybe that's partially true. 

But in all honesty, I don't like to think I live my life in pursuit of happiness. Yes, there are many things in my life that bring me happiness, but I hope that is not my main pursuit. 

I am leaving this job because it was very clear to me it was the Lord guiding the process, that it was time and that the opportunity that came up was the next chapter in this continuously edited book of my life. 

There will be struggle, there will be a lot of learning by trial and errors, there will be wonderful new people to interact with, there will be many new experiences, but ultimately, it will not satisfy and I will see greener (and less green) grass all around me. 

And that's ok. 

I have learned that I am of the sort that is often looking for something else, what might be next, not really fitting in. And I could not say words better than C.S. Lewis on this subject:

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."

This world is not the world we were created for. This new chapter of my life is not being written to bring me to my ultimate happiness. 

My hope is that the new chapter continues to sharpen me as a person and point me in the direction which the Lord wants me to go. Which will bring me joy that comes from knowing the Lord.

I am excited for the this new season and the learning and new relationships that come with it! 

But mostly I am excited that I can see and feel the direction of the Author of Life  in this whole process. 

I am not yet where I belong, and this job will not be where I belong, but until I reach this place to belong, I am looking forward to serving the community and building deeper relationships and understandings of the things this side of life.